By Giorgio Roubos
Boink! Your properly thinking, why’s a pig in this story? Oh hell nah. Well Albert Einstein, oink is what a pig says. Rolled ya. Yep. But meet, Jacob. Jacob’s average, but a great footy player. Well, he wants to go to Japan, but he can’t afford it, BUMMER. Well one morning, he saw an ad for like, I don’t know Harvey Norman, it was a miracle! Teleporter for $19.99!
“What a rip off!” Jacob yells.
He got off the couch, (lazy boy) and pulled out 20 dollars, he sprints over to Harvey Norman.
“Yeah, wassup, um I heard about this teleporter thing, I need it.” Jacob exclaims.
I see,the teleporter for, $10.999?” He questions Jacob.
“I must’ve read it wrong.” Jacob sobs. “I only have 20 bucks!”
“We have a remote for 20 bucks, retail price $140. The guy says.
“I’ll take it. Jacob says sadly.
One transaction later………………………………………………………
Well, Jacob bought the remote, little did he know the remote has super powers, it can take you the any of the 195 countries in the world. So if you think about it, it’s kind of dramatic, but it’s not.
1: Type in your destination
2: If it’s like an origin, it detects it.
3: It is a tricky machine, cough, cough remote.
“Well it’s not bad.” He mumbles. “It’s got YouTube, but I’m stressed so I guess I need to listen to some music, let’s see Japanese……. WOAHHHHHHH!”
All of a sudden, Jacob gets transported to some mysterious universe. He hears a person talking, “Make sure you try out my outstanding gyoza, 4 Pack, ten dollars!” The lady at the McDonalds says.
“Well, god knows what maccas put inside of the dishes, in this universe.” He acts like he’s blown away.
“Okay, so let’s see what universe we’re in, and you can say, I’m not in Coburg. He continues to wonder around.
The only thing Jacob saw in this mysterious area was dumpling and gyoza shops, well there was no dominos, no pizza hut or no DOC! DON DON DEN! He still had the remote in his hands.
“Well it’s getting dark, I guess I should just book a hotel.” Jacob explains.
Well the bad thing was, he didn’t have any money, SADLY! He had to come up with a plan…………….
Across the road there was an, let me just explain something, there is no ANZ there is JNZ. Not the aussie version, the Japanese bank or version. It was packed. So he go passed everyone, he managed to get 1 billion dollars! CHA CHING! Jacob took the money, and threw it everywhere, and got a 5 star hotel, he topped it off with nandos, but with sushi. 2 minutes later he got it. Pre made though.He went back to the hotel with an uber. Then he listened to some relaxing music on YouTube.
“Spanish… whoa,” Jacob yells. But yet again he transported to Spain.
“Cual es tu comida favorita? The guy questions Jacob.
“Well, I’m gonna have to cope.” He thought. “Que?”
“Te gusta el futbol?” The guy replies in Spanish.
“Si!” Jacob answers.
“Te gusta Messi y Ronaldo?” He says.
“Si, Esta bien adios!” Jacob says as he walks away. “Phew.”
He goes to buy some MELONS!
“Un dolar per favor!” the lady says.
Jacob hands over the many to the lady and walks off to book ‘Gran Platano’ which is Grand Banana if you’re not sure. Then Jacob walks right into Rafael Nadal.
“Rafael, puedo por favor tener un autographo?” Jacob pleases. “Soy an gran fan.”
Jacob walks away to Gran Platano with a signature.
“Let’s see Aussie… WOAH!”
Well there you have it, he lands on his bed, and takes a nap.